warzone

being at quiktrip on main at 9:30 in the morning is a lot like fighting the war in iraq. i'm sure of it because i've obviously done both things so wouldn't i know? the only difference at quiktrip is that it's every man for himself. your weapons are corn dogs and hot coffee. your objective is to collect as many nutrition foods as possible- AND TO GET OUT ALIVE. dodge that terrorist disguised as an 8 year old boy! he's flailing that super rope pretty fast, so hurl yonder bear claws with precision and skill. now, advance to the next stage. oh no! hot coffee all over the fucking floor! shit! now they're attacking you with the mop! but they're just mopping everywhere around your feet except where you're standing! it's a torture tactic. a mind game. terror is 99% mental and 100% mental. a famous terrorist said that once. he was insane. with terror. maybe it was this one who is NOW SPRAYING NACHO CHEESE OUT OF HIS MOUTH. quick! use the freezer door as a shield. retaliate! fling some chips!

...and that's how you'll end the war in iraq. nachos. everyone knows terrorists like to party.

i got the van back. turns out i don't need to do much mcguyvering but i do have to be careful when turning it off. it's good to have it back. i decided not to get that kramer guitar and hold out for something else. with a $250 heating bill i can't really afford to rock that hard. bummer. i wish to visit CHICAGO before i go to spain. that would be most excellent. i wanna make fun of mookie, and shred some metal with alex, go bowling with sam and neal, have a fatty smoke sesh with joe and frances, eat some fuckin pizza with lauren, abby and sarah, participate in blunt tuesdays with joe weitteroth, tell zaylor to get the hell out of there, give laura a big hug and tell her she's my number 1 even though she's sort of a b, you know- THE FUN STUFF. so, i think i'm gonna try and do that. right now.

edit: chicago, see you march 14th-18th.