Arrested

Spent the night in Gardner on a concrete slab with a shitty blanket and a weird vinyl pillow. Pay your tickets, kid-o's! I now have two court dates. My life sucks right now! At least there will be punk tonight.

Today is my 26.5th birthday

Six months without a cigarette.

I feel like if Nickelback is still making records I really have a lot of work to do.

Not only me, but all of us. I also really feel that we should band together to rid the world of all this egotistical, disengenuos bullshit that is so clearly consuming all of us. But maybe my gut reaction is wrong here. I mean, I think we can all agree that violence solves most of the world's problems, but perhaps this is a chance to explore the other side of the coin. This week, when you see some asshole on campus with a 'tang troll' shirt or some equally tasteful quip make sure to remember to restrain yourself. Calmly approach the douchebag. Make sure your hands are visible as most of these sleazy turds have been mainlining four loko for hours and will not hesitate to attack at any sign of trouble. Start by breaking the ice. "WOW, bro- those highlights in NO WAY clash with your ridiculous neck tattoo of the virgin mary smoking a joint and holding up the devil horns. You must get SO MUCH action! With girls, right? Not just like crawling into your dorm room at 3AM, sailor jerry saturating every ounce of your flabby frame and 'confusing' your roommates bed for your own ('bro, put it away. i got lacrosse practice in the morning') before sloppily careening to the floor and confusingly masturbating to what you thought was a television playing a porn but was actually just your mini fridge humming away, covered with pictures of your family," might work. If you want a more direct approach, just hand him a Smirnoff Ice and he will automatically TAKE A KNEE and DOWN the entire shitty bottle. This will literally leave the ICE broken, allowing you to make your move. Now, with his guard down, proceed to gain his trust. Learn their ways. Then, several years down the line, when you're just another douchebag watching your flatscreen like the rest of us you'll hear a bad brains song behind an iPod commercial and go 'OH YEAH, THAT THING!" and hopefully you and everyone you know will burn everything to the fucking ground because FUCK THIS SHIT! WE BLEW IT!