Snakelord

CHICAGO- IMA HIT THAT THIS WEEKEND. Meaning I will be there Thursday through Sunday. Make yourselves available. Neal's going away party is Saturday at Lil' Bauhaus. Come celebrate this wonderful man.

I was sitting in the courtyard area down in the White Power District the other night. My Dad was telling me how my older brother grew up with Eddie Griffin, comedian:
and how he went to Rockhurst. That's crazy. This dude's pretty funny, but as is the case with ALL comedians, he was probably a lot funnier when he was blowing a lot of cocaine. I don't care what you say, Sam Kinison was a crazy person. His voice was absolutely hilarious to me though. He was a preacher for years and they he turned crazy and nearly snorted up Peru. Then he died in a pool of his own fat like a fatty. You know who gets to pay for that funeral? That's right, America, I'm looking at you. Quit eating those cheese fries and let's get down to brass tacks here.

Josh Homme yelled at some kids in Norway. Not surprising behavior at all, I must say.

Bone Throne

We played a surprise show at the Kitchen on Wednesday with a very good metal band called Resigned to Fate. We definitely sounded the best we've ever sounded live. It was a total rush, and it reminded me why I love doing this shit so much. We've got a couple more knobs to tweak (poof) on the demo and then we'll start burning cd's and making artwork. We're still totally clueless as to what to call it. The five of us have incredibly different tastes, so it's really frustrating trying to keep everyone happy. People need to learn to be more open-minded, too. In the mean time, we're playing shows under the name Imminent Death, which is lame. I really should write about something else but there's just no time!

Sarah and Clare are in town this weekend! Babe-a-palooza. There was this really awesome thunderstorm last night too, so I guess everything is pretty sweet.

XOX

Ear is healed. All it took was one more trip to Harriett's clinic and that bastard was SUCKED DRY! My friend and co-worker Jack is back for the summer to help around here and that is awesome. This almost always a two-dude job anyway, so it's good to have him back. We're headlining the all-ages part of Midwest Fest somehow? That's tomorrow night. It's our fourth show, so how we're headlining I'll never know. We're Fucked must have canceled. "Yeah, we'll headline...all the way to the fucking bank!" Our demo is complete, bruises and all, and we'll most likely have a bunch of cd's printed up in the next month. I'm pretty happy with it, as I've never been in a band quite like this before, and it's pretty interesting. People should really appreciate awesome bands like Death more because being in a metal band is TOUGH, dude! Still no good band name though. Anyway, just stoppin' in, gotta go!

Get the Fuck Off My Lawn

I have not been able to hear out of my left ear for three days. I've tried everything. It'sss maddening. John's mom even tried to clean it out with some crazy machine and it didn't work. My Dad is deaf in his right ear, so this hits a little close to home. He had a stroke though. Maybe I had a stroke in my sleep. I've heard crazier things. I really worry about being too similar to my Dad sometimes because he's a real square. He is like 800 by now though, so I don't expect to see him at Buzzard dancing on tables or anything. Once you pass 50 I heard you age one year for every day of your life. It's some fluid they started pumping into babies back in the 30's that makes them age extremely fast. You can google it. I'm not even lying. Just wait 'til you hit 50. Hunched over your bowl of mustard and prunes (typical), frothing at the mouth like a geriatric raver, you'll just start to decompose. Little bits of skin and then crumbling bones and then, by the time you're 70, you just turn to mush. I believe John McCain is in the later stages of this man-made virus, which I have dubbed "Geezernasia".

"A man came in today, he was a dear friend of mine. He had a PET CAT"