Metallica - Death Magnetic

Metallica refuses to leave you alone. As decent Americans it's really your duty to buy their new record. You have to pay for it too...no illegal downloads allowed. Lars Ulrich will come to your house and batter your face with his double bass pedal. The same one that's been sitting in his closet for the past 20 years. It would appear that the West Coast thrashers -gone chart toppers -gone really awful "southern" rock-gone insecure old man/trash can metal have come full circle with their latest release Death Magnetic. It would also appear that the last sentence was a total train wreck, much like every Metallica record released since 1988. I've given the new record one listen all the way through and I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. The gang is back! Well, sorta. This is the first album to feature new bassist Robert Trujillo, who joined the band in 2003. He's a really solid player and pretty technically efficient, but his sound is buried under incredibly beefy guitars and the weirdest cymbal mix I've heard in a while. Who better to produce this iconic American Metal record than the new last resort for failed musicians to revive their careers, Rick Rubin. An obvious but welcome choice, Rubin does a great job of keeping these geezers sounding fresh. The vocals are mixed very low, so as not to contaminate any solid riffs with James Hetfield's redundant, trite, juvenile lyrics. The shortest song on this record, "My Apocalypse" is five minutes long. The longest, an instrumental called "Suicide and Redemption" is ten minutes. After my first listen, these two tracks and the opener, "That Was Just Your Life" are the best. The overall "Metallica's still got it" vibe is very obvious here. Kirk Hammet is making up for lost time, playing excellently on this album and giving fans a healthy dose of top shelf shredding(much needed after 2003's solo-less and shitty St. Anger). A concentrated effort has been made to keep things moving fast, and though there are echoes of past failings throughout (some breakdowns reek of "Reload" trashiness), the Metal is back and, for the most part, still in the eye of the beholder.

More of the same

Still in the same shit! August was the worst money-month ever. Now I'm slowly starting to climb out of it. Yuck. There is hope, though.

I'm visiting Chicago, if only for a brief couple of days, to help Lauren move back. Taking a break from my full-time job moving stuff to...go to another city...and move stuff. This has been happening a lot lately, actually. Last week I woke up sick and called into work. Then, later that day I was helping my sister move back to my Mom's. I'm never not moving stuff. I'll be there on the 19th-21st?

In other news...Perry's moving up there. I, personally, think everyone should come home and stay home, but who am I to get in the way of anyone's "dreams" or "goals." I used to have those too. Now I'm just living paycheck to paycheck like I didn't just go to college for 5 dumb years.

Hope everyone's well. I gotta go.

Summer of Bummer

I've decided not to post here until I am in a better state of mind. I've been plagued by lots of depressing financial shit lately, and I find that it's really bringing my character down. I feel like a shitty person when I am in debt to someone else. I've been in debt for over a month now, and it would appear that I may continue to be in this situation for quite some time. So, basically...if I don't get busted by the IRS, my parents don't disown me and IF I GET A FREAKING RAISE BEFORE I DIE, I should be back to posting retarded shit that no one reads pretty soon. Also, I've decided to take a hint from my good friend Jerk and make this a purely musical blog. I will review/discuss/rant about ONLY music. Mostly music I hate, since it typically has the most bountiful bosom of total shittiness. This means no more vagina monologues, no more boring "this is what I did today" posts, and no more making fun of has-been celebrities who no one gives a shit about. Music is the key. Music is the answer. The internet is not the answer, but it'll do when I'm bored. I need to get Quicken for dummies or some shit. This is why I laugh when people call me a rock star. If you see me, give me a hug, I probably need it.

Call the "Wah"mbulance

I don't know why I keep doing all this shit. I have no motives anymore. There's no reason to do anything. I'm unbelievably frustrated with every situation I find myself in. I need to calm down. All I see is evil everywhere. I can see everyone else's motives so clearly, and it's terrifying. There's also this simultaneous feeling of worthlessness and under-appreciation. There's so much work to be done to reach this false plateau of happiness. I feel like I've been there before but it's so far away now that I'll never get back. What the hell is up with my brain? Why do I feel so paranoid? Why do I allow people to fuck with me? What has two thumbs and is totally fucked? This guy.

MORE DEAD COPS

If you don't get the title you should probably see the Dark Knight and then you'll realize just what is the best thing to yell out at a press conference. I've seen this film twice now. It's the best movie to come out in years. DUH. All of the acting is superb. DOY. Totally sweet and dark as fuck. (flaps bent wrist against chest like mongoloid person) BUT since this is my fucking blog that I never use as much as I should, I'll say what I want...and what I want to say is this: Christian Bale's Bat-voice is way over done. Sorry...It's true. Too much, man. "YOU'RE GONNA BE...IN A PADDED CELLLLL..." Stop it. Stop it right now. Your Bruce Wayne is awesome, your Batman is mean as hell and tough as nails, but that voice? You sound like people are going to be making fun of you for years. You sound like Tom Waits, Dicky Barrett, and that Sasquatch of a singer from Fucked Up having a trash-brawl in a trash bag. I had to get that out there. You can achieve total darkness without sounding forced. You can actually be an actor. Javier Bardem did it in No Country for Old Men, where were you?!?!

In other news- I don't do much these days. If you're ever wondering what I'm doing it's one of these: sleeping, working, playing drums, playing guitar, smoking, drinking, showering, doing laundry or eating. That's it! I've got it down to nine things. That's all I do! I need a break from all this normalcy. I mean, my life is fun, but there's just got to be a better way...That's vague as hell. I'm sick too. That whole ears/nose/throat sinus congestion thing is really wailin' on me. Jerky is comin' over after work so we can go running. Don't know how well I'll do, but I'll try.

ALSO! Lightning struck a tree behind our house last night, causing this massive branch to fall, disabling our internet/phone line. I spent 40 minutes on the phone with AT&T, talked to 7 people, 13 robots (even got transferred to North Carolina, some how?!), typed in my number 400 times and finally got someone to come out between the hours of 9AM and 7PM. Somewhere in there.

I'm driving up to Chicago for Lollapalooza in 9 days with my sister, Bridget, Peter and Andy Edsall and Peter's friend Anna. Then we get to bring Lauren back with us! Huzzah! Oh, I didn't want to mention this, but the Foo Fighters show the other night was pretty much a bust. They played a few rockers but mostly played they're lamest songs for 2.5 hours. They even made some of their good songs ('My Hero', 'Everlong', 'Big Me') into LAME songs by playing them all acoustic and slow and making them sound like Douchebag Confessional songs. They played 'Stacked Dead Actors,' off the 3rd record, and put a drum solo in the middle, which was alright. Dave Grohl is still the second coolest dude alive (Lemmy) but GOD DAMN does he need to start a metal band where he can fucking SHRED SOME SERIOUS RIBS. Wasted potential. Larry and I want to start a band called LEPER HUMAN. Maybe we can get Lil' Davey to join on drums. SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER NO TIME TO STOP AND THINK IT'S SUMMER TIME.

Summer jams

By the end of this summer I will have seen Foo Fighters, Radiohead, and Rage Against the Machine. Where the fuck was this summer when I was 14? I would have ate my own brain if I knew I was going to see these bands! I'm really excited. I rarely listen to Rage or Foo Fighters anymore, but they were both favorites of mine in past-times. I have a new band. A summer band. We're called Sick Bros. I play drums. Danni plays guitar. Mookie sings. Jordan plays bass. We have 4.5 songs as of now and we're ready to kick some ass! Good summer thus far.

So Damn Hot

Hot today. Hot yesterday. Heat like this'll make a man go loopy. You know...get all screwy. Start thinkin' about hobbits and viking funerals and mayonnaise and shit. Then you're writhing around on the floor running in circles and you think about how running in circles on the floor like that should be an Olympic event of some kind. Then the sweat worms slither out from under the fridge and start gelling all over you with their slimy mucky goo. That shit contains some kinda acid that begins to boil your your skin, muscles and internal organs. Then when you're nothing but mush and bones the worms slither away and the reaper arrives to throw your remains into his BONE CART.

It gets hot in the warehouse. It's only gettin' hotter. See you on the other side.

(p.s. - best 4th of july ever.)