Arrested

Spent the night in Gardner on a concrete slab with a shitty blanket and a weird vinyl pillow. Pay your tickets, kid-o's! I now have two court dates. My life sucks right now! At least there will be punk tonight.

Today is my 26.5th birthday

Six months without a cigarette.

I feel like if Nickelback is still making records I really have a lot of work to do.

Not only me, but all of us. I also really feel that we should band together to rid the world of all this egotistical, disengenuos bullshit that is so clearly consuming all of us. But maybe my gut reaction is wrong here. I mean, I think we can all agree that violence solves most of the world's problems, but perhaps this is a chance to explore the other side of the coin. This week, when you see some asshole on campus with a 'tang troll' shirt or some equally tasteful quip make sure to remember to restrain yourself. Calmly approach the douchebag. Make sure your hands are visible as most of these sleazy turds have been mainlining four loko for hours and will not hesitate to attack at any sign of trouble. Start by breaking the ice. "WOW, bro- those highlights in NO WAY clash with your ridiculous neck tattoo of the virgin mary smoking a joint and holding up the devil horns. You must get SO MUCH action! With girls, right? Not just like crawling into your dorm room at 3AM, sailor jerry saturating every ounce of your flabby frame and 'confusing' your roommates bed for your own ('bro, put it away. i got lacrosse practice in the morning') before sloppily careening to the floor and confusingly masturbating to what you thought was a television playing a porn but was actually just your mini fridge humming away, covered with pictures of your family," might work. If you want a more direct approach, just hand him a Smirnoff Ice and he will automatically TAKE A KNEE and DOWN the entire shitty bottle. This will literally leave the ICE broken, allowing you to make your move. Now, with his guard down, proceed to gain his trust. Learn their ways. Then, several years down the line, when you're just another douchebag watching your flatscreen like the rest of us you'll hear a bad brains song behind an iPod commercial and go 'OH YEAH, THAT THING!" and hopefully you and everyone you know will burn everything to the fucking ground because FUCK THIS SHIT! WE BLEW IT!

Harvey Milk - Special Wishes LP on Troubleman Unlimited

My life doesn't make any sense lately. I have been listening to this record a lot though. Be well, ya'll.

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May 3rd, 2010

Will this be the weirdest show ever? yeah, probably.

Drain The Sky - Haunted By Rivers LP on Level Plane Records

Trudging through the doldrums.
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Tom Waits - Bone Machine LP on Island Records

Dead and Dirty

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Gray Matter - Food For Thought + Take It Back on Dischord

The most amazing thing about punk rock is that there are literally millions of bands. Each group tweaks their individual knobs, making amazing (and some terrible) sounds that I will never, ever hear. The sheer magnitude of this growing plague is astounding. That's why I love to re-discover a band I might have only had a brief passing with. This time it's Washington D.C.'s Gray Matter. They were on Dischord in the 80's, broke up, and reunited briefly in the 90's. Everything I've heard by them is good, but this album, and the Take it Back EP in particular, is full of tight playing and well thought-out song structure and far exceeds their other efforts. Contemporaries like Rites of Spring come to mind when lead vocalist Geoff Turner spits emotional rants about personality defects and lost relationships (case in point - from 'Burn No Bridges': "Is there really such a thing as a waste of time?") over bar-rock turned up too loud. This band rests somewhere on the edge of punk rock and rock and roll with a hard lean towards the former. This EP is a punk rock gem and should be respected as such!
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Them Crooked Vultures - s/t on RCA

My Father has never supported my efforts as a musician. Even when I got my first drum set at 10, I can remember my Dad telling me I needed to play more sports. So I did what he said, and spent that whole year and several after it playing football, basketball, volleyball, soccor and running track/cross country. I never stopped playing drums though. Soon I picked up guitar too. My Dad still discouraged it, saying I'd never make it as a legitimate musician. Maybe that's true, but it's the only thing I really care about doing. Writing is fun and fulfilling in a similar way, but with all this Columbia bullshit going on right now I don't feel a huge urge to do it every day like I used to. My Dad has never backed anything I've done that he didn't do first. He came to all my cross country meets but has never seen me so much as strum a string or hit a cymbal on stage. If he did, it was on accident and I'm sure he's forgotten it. There is a large generational gap of about 50 years between us, and while that does contribute to our overall problem quite a bit, it does not excuse this man from being a shitty father. He's got 8 kids! You couldn't figure this shit out before I came along? Apparently not, because all of my siblings have expressed their aggravations in one form or another regarding my Dad's ''skills'', or lack thereof, as a father. I've learned to roll with it, as he expresses his hatred of my lifestyle regularly, and I know that my Mom and Sister will always have my back. It'd just be nice to have him on my side, because despite all this I do respect him as a person. He's done some good things for Northeast and is a phenomenal athlete (he probably gloated a bit too much though, naming himself ''the Legend",) and is an intelligent, if completely insane, individual. He was nice enough to allow use of his clinic for shows a while back but I think this was a ploy to get my Mom back, as he had never taken any interest before, and has continued to do so. Scer and Big Willy said it best I guess- parents just don't understand. I don't want to rub it in his face so much, but I would like to prove him wrong. So I will thrash til death. Oh and Kansas City- book my fucking band already!

Here's a good record that some of my heroes made recently. I've read mixed reviews, but if you haven't heard it, it fucking jams. It's fun, it rocks (no one rocks anymore!), the riffs are solid and I can't wait to hear what else they come up with. Apparently they will be recording another record before the end of the year!
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The Dirty Projectors - Bitte Orca on Domono Records

If life is a game I'm losing pretty bad right now. Turns out I did not actually achieve my B.A. in Fiction Writing from Columbia College in 2007. I know- weird, right? I got all dressed up like an idiot, heard my name mispronounced and walked across that stage like all the other regular jackoffs but I guess I was just fucking with everyone. HAHA! Jokes on you! Oh wait, it's on me. Apparently I am short 7 hours. Mind=boggled. I took ONE class my last semester because I was told it was the last one I needed. What a FANTASTIC WASTE OF TIME that semester turned out to be. Oh, and speaking of wastes of time, I guess I know why I haven't been able to get a single job interview in the last year. I have to take three of what's called a CLEP test to compensate for the hours. It'll be easy, but I shouldn't have to do this. Why didn't my adviser tell me? Why'd they let me walk? Grad school is now even further away. I applied last fall. I feel fucked with and I hate it.



At the beginning of 2009 I made a resolution to listen to different music. Obviously, since then, I've encountered a lot of bands and records, new and old, I might not have otherwise. This is one of the better new bands I came across. They took my interest because my friend Lauren told me they did an entire album of interpretive Black Flag covers. I had the chance to see them at the Granada towards the end of '09 and was even more impressed. It's one of those bands with several uniquely talented musicians who all unleash at once in a frenzy of disjointed guitar riffs and cascading sirens bouncing off the walls. It's beautiful, exciting stuff.

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Leatherface - Dog Disco on BYO Records

This record is great. Not as good as Mush but still amazing. It's Leatherface! Look at that ridiculous record cover! That is a blatant and inaccurate visual representation of both the band and the record. I will go see them this year.

For anyone interested, here is the line up for this year's Chaos in Tejas Fest. May 27th-30th at Emo's in Austin, TX...


THURSDAY
crow (!!!)
talk is poison
X ( Australia)
the Spits
wasted time
kyklooppein sukupuuto
ty segall
mind eraser (!!!)
grass widow
mother of mercy

FRIDAY
bastard (!!!)
subhumans (?!?!?)
the marked men (!!!!!!!)
world burns to death (!!!)
walls (!!!!!!!)
rival mob
kim phuc
vaaska

SATURDAY
poison idea (?!?!??!?!)
the pist
quintron and miss pussycat
inquisition (not KC's Inquisition, but a metal band from Colombia)
iron lung (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
bone awl
slang (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
masshysteri
leatherface (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
volahn
morpheme
waste management
la urss
acephalix
deskonocidos
viper
mind spiders
teenage cool kids
dead to me
ninja gun
shanghai river

SUNDAY
rorschach
bastard noise
morne
yellow tears
young offenders
underground railroad to candyland
the hex dispensers (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been workin' for my old man this week...and I do mean old. It'll be over soon. Update with link later!

Mouthful of Bees - S/T on Afternoon Records

Someone at the D.R.I. show last night saw Chris and I standing next to each other and said "It's like a freakin' Megadeth show out here." Sweet. Someone also told Chris they were sure he was related to Zakk Wylde. He was all, "OK?!?!"


This isn't something I would normally listen to, but I still like it. It's a dreamy record that incorporates lunar acoustic strums and somewhat haunting vocal melodies. They're probably a bit too artsy for me but I'm sure some folks will enjoy this.

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I-70 Series - Demo & Serpentor - Imminent Death EP

Today I am uploading demos from two of my old bands. I-70 Series played from about 2003-05 and Serpentor was active between 2008-09. Sadly, both projects are done for now but we were able to record some demos (bruises and all) which I'd like to share:

I-70 Series Demo
Recorded and mixed in 2005 by Ashley Miller & John Kraft

1. Hey You (With The Teeth)
2. Stab in the Dark
3. The Alarm
4. The Fucked Up
5. Squid Vicious

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Serpentor - Imminent Death EP
Recorded and Mixed by Ben Smith at The Anchor in 2008
1. Manifestation of Ruin
2. Doomsayers
3. Obsidian Death
4. The Samnite
5. Vengeful Tormentor
6. Triumph of the Metal Gods
7. Blood Pile

Unfortunately I haven't been able to find a copy of this with the guitar solos. If I can track it down I'll re-post.

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Cloak/Dagger - Lost Art LP on Jade Tree Records

When I listen to some of this new hardcore (read: hawdcore) I feel like I might as well be listening to third-wave ska. To be clear, I am only referring to a very specific type of hardcore that just so happens to have been the most popular kind made in the last decade. Terror has become Less Than Jake, Bane may as well be the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Throwdown is a nightclubbed version of Buck O' Nine and Ten Yard Fight? That's just Mustard Plug wearing football pads. That's right, every hardcore band you like is actually comprised of the same slap happy nerds in suspenders who were in those silly ska/punk bands from the late 90's! What a world.

As we enter a new decade, that particular bandwagon seems to be rolling out of town. I've got just one question- what's next? What sacred ritual will be bastardized now?! I have a feeling it's going to be what people call "80's hardcore"-also known as punk music from the period of time when oxygen was cocaine and money grew on goddamn trees. Southern Californians like Black Flag and the Circle Jerks have been getting a lot of google hits lately because just about every blog author out there compares a new band to one of them. There were other bands like Gang Green and Red Kross with similar sounds but no one cares. In an attempt to spread the word without harming this band's reputation in the future, I am going to try and write the following review without name-dropping (even though they sound a lot like Hot Snakes).


Cloak/Dagger are from Richmond, VA and apparently sound nothing like any band that I've ever heard from there. Their second LP, Lost Art, picks up where their last left off- upbeat, down-stroked tunes with crisp drums and lyrics about punk rock standards like paranoia, booze and girls. The production is a lot cleaner than the last record and the band has definitely tightened up their sound. This is a great new punk band from the South who sound like they'd be really fun to see. They're not coming anywhere near K.C. anytime soon but remember these dudes, and download this record! Then go buy it...IF you like it!

That wasn't too hard. Let's just hope I don't end up listening to this record in ten years and wonder what the hell I was thinking.

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Mookie's Mix

I made my friend Mookie a mix cd for his birthday. I haven't given it to him yet but I thought I'd write a mini-review. The tracks are:
1. Unsane - Scrape
Remember this band? Maybe not, but this single used to be on MTV in the late 90's. The video is comprised entirely of dudes wiping out and totally harshing all the buzz everywhere. This song is good.
2. Melvins - Hog Leg
From the Eggnog EP- Which is their second best in my opinion. I've been listening to this band every day for months. I have started a cover band with John Navarre and Alex Moss and we've been practicing. We're trying to set up a show soon!
3. Neurosis - Through Silver in Blood
Darkness descends. I got really into this album back in October.
4. Black Elk - Toggle
A band I discovered this year while looking at Jesus Lizard Reunion fliers. They were one of their openers. This song is from their s/t LP on Crucial Blast.
5. Bruce McCulloch - Heroin Pig
You may recognize this Kid in the Hall as Cabbage Head or Cancer Boy but this is from a solo venture. I'm happy those dudes have a new show that sounds dark and awesome. Too bad we don't live in Canada.
6. Geronimo - Facepeeler
This is one side of a series of splits that the band Young Widows did. I do not know who Geronimo is, but it sounds like David Yow fucking up a drum machine. I haven't been able to find any more information about this band, but this song is a doozy. If you like feeling scared and weird, you'll like this.
7. Shellac & David Yow - Bodies
These guys got together a while back and played a show as the Sex Pistols. I wish I could have been there.
8. Henry Rollins - Twas The Night Before Christmas
King of the Weenies, Henry Garfield re-imagines this holiday classic with a bit of a macabre twist. Unfortunately, as with most things Rollins, when he wants to make something good he completely falls short. His idea of 'edgy' is adding a lazy jazz bass line with police sirens mixed behind his spoken work track. I put this on here for Mookie because he'll like it, but I really don't think anyone else should listen to it.
9. Kowloon Walled City - Diabetic Feet
This is the best Sludge/Metal band I heard about in '09. Alex told me about them and all I can say it it's just plain good. They have one of the most interesting names I've seen in a while, they've got a sense of humor ('More Like the Shit Factory') and the tones are packed to the brim with doom, just the way I like 'em. They have two albums out on Wordclock records.
10. Tom Waits - Tom Tales
You've heard it before, but this man is a genius. This is from his new live record and it's 30 minutes of stage banter. Waits drops several eggs of knowledge about varying things such as vultures, Oklahoma and their crazy laws ("you can't eat some place that is also on fire"), graveyard shifts and drinking ("The piano is only on beer and wine now"). These facts are drooled out by Waits while screwing around on piano giving me the image of an old drunk man spouting wisdom in a dark living room to no one while a black cat dances across the keys. It's Tom Waits. He's a genius. "I read this today: One out of every ten men is important. Then I went back because I read it wrong. It said One out of every ten men is impotent. So what are ya, important or impotent? I guess that's all there is."

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Der Todesking - s/t 7" at 33rpm on Self-Released Records

Winter was coming, but now the bastard is here. There are too many inches of snow outside right now to get things done so I've decided to try an experiment. I wanted to write a review for my friends in Der Todesking but I couldn't decide how to do it in an unbiased way. I've also heard all of the songs on their new 7" (being released Jan. 30th!) repeatedly because the band practices in my basement. I had to figure out a way to somehow make this band, comprised of some of my best friends and whose growth I have had a lot of exposure to sound new to me. So I decided to see what it sounded like at 33rpm and not only was Der Todesking's moody nature intensified and their punk knob tweaked, but holy shit was it amazing. My first thoughts were that Flipper and Black Sabbath were Tom Waits' backing band in a shipwreck somewhere and somehow it was being transmitted through my home stereo system. As the first side finished and I flipped the record there was a brief moment of silence, but I did not let it linger too long, delving back into the murk, sinking into the doldrums and taking my place amongst the Mer-heshers now gathering on the ship's deck. As the heshers beat a seahorse to death I began to inhale water and yearned for fresh air. As the record ended, I frantically paddled to the surface. As soon as oxygen filled my lungs I realized why this band wrote their songs faster- you could drown in all that sludge. That's not to say it isn't a blast to jump into the swamp every now and again, though. Go to the Record Bar on Jan. 30th at 6PM and see Der Todesking's record release show! Get this 7" because it's awesome. Also playing are local dudes Weird Wounds and Sucked Dry who probably also sound great at the bottom of the ocean.

Wildildlife - Six LP on Crucial Blast Records

Whoops, took a year and a few months off. We'll start again with regular updates from now on. Right now I am listening to this record, Six by a band called Wildildlife from Seattle.


This record caters to a lot of crowds, one of which may or may not be everyone at Burning Man, but as I trudge through the muddy sheets of molasses on the floor and walls of this thing I can feel a consistent warmth throughout. The band sticks to slow grooves spread out to produce epic songs (13 and 18 minutes+) mixed with strange noise interludes that make one conjure up images of Buffalo Bill and his creepy well or maybe a not-so scary Slingblade mumbling' in a booth at McDonalds. Basically, though, it's a rock record, a slow burn with intent to thrill. Good luck getting the album cover out of your nightmares.