cheer up...

at least you're not this guy.
(what if this guy really was 80 feet tall?! are those inches? what?)

birthday approaching. papa lobster, the bridge and i are going out to eat tonight.... i'm not sure where. i get to pick...any suggestions? i was thinkin' STEAK but i also love pizza. the difference is that i can usually afford pizza on my own. gotta milk this steak opportunity. help me out!

as of last night SERPENTOR HAS 9 ORIGINALS!! david and i write differently but that's good. he's teaching me about metal and i'm teaching him about...other stuff? anyway, it's a good partnership.

the bosshole is out of town so i'm runnin' the shop. not too hard. i've discovered that being someone's boss is really easy because all they need are answers. they'll respect you as long as you aren't a dick. as long as i give everyone some kind of answer we'll stay afloat. we made 1200 bucks yesterday. we usually make between 1000-1400 so i guess we're doing average.

I HAVE NOTHING INTELLIGENT TO SAY AT ALL!!! chris is having a party for perry and me tomorrow night (perry graduated. big whoop. "IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL DIE IF I WANT TO!!!"). should be pretty fun. i'm care-free and cruisin' for a bruisin'. don't worry, it's been happening for years, i always get back up.

the elusive nick blinko (good, evil and rockin')

1997...
1994:back in the 80's:

libido

i've been trying to train myself in techniques that will keep me from ripping off people's heads. i can get pretty worked up when there's nine people asking me questions that i don't give a fuck about. oh, the worst is when someone asks me to do something, a favor to them, and i'm doing it and they decide they need another favor, only this one's more important so then i freak out because there's TOO MUCH- NOT ENOUGH TIME. only nobody seems to notice or care because it's just me freaking out, not them, and then the whole time this is happening i'm just getting more and more FRANTIC, and then they start to freak out because i'm now ripping my own hair out and screaming bloody fucking murder but i guess it's all just because my dad was never around.

some of said techniques:
1. keeping a positive mental attitude.
2. not forgetting the struggle and also remembering the streets.
3. keeping it real.
4. trying to distract myself with word games and puzzles in tense situations (read: avoiding things).
5. if you simply slice your aggressor in half with a machete you can easily avoid decapitating them.
6. drinking apple juice in the mornings.
7. smoking a lot of weed.

workin man

i've been thinking about writing a little lately. after i graduated, i decided to take a total 180 from my life at the time. it's been about nine months since i moved back to k.c., started my new job, a new band, lots of new friendships, lots of old friendships, and a wonderful new relationship. i feel pretty good about the decisions i've made to get where i am, but i think i've started to take things for granted lately and i need a "reality check" as it were. i'm not asking for trouble, and i know a resolution is not going to just drop out of the sky, but i'm sick of just staying afloat. i realize that i'm the master of my own destiny and all, but i feel like more shit should be moving. that's why i said i'd been thinking about writing. i mean...technically, i do have a BA even if they don't send it to me. i think i might start trying to contribute to the pitch because every time i read it it gets less and less like reading a magazine and more and more like opening a scorpion cage and sticking my head in for 20 minutes. i'd also like to do some tutoring...maybe at umkc or jccc. just so i can dress up the old resume a bit. anyway, i think i lost sight of why i really liked writing in the first place on account of my school sucking serious nards there at the end. i've taken too long of a break from reading too, and if i had more time during the week i totally would indulge in that regard. i'm not really looking to writing as a career at this point because of all the other stuff going on. i'm not ready to devote my life to writing yet, i suppose. if i were ready, i would wake up in the morning and write immediately. all day. like a job. that's what writers do. but i have another job. and i like this job. i really do. but i am going to have to see about a raise...

ideally, i'd like to be playing shows all week and sending at least one piece of writing out to be published a week. i'd also still like to have my job at that point, so i better quit dickin' around and do this shit already! never a dull moment! love you guys.
ben

high stakes

i've had a busy weekend! serpentor played 6 songs at fred p. ott's last night. mostly had a good time except that place is full of chads* and i wanted to throw up after words. they kicked zack out for being young when he'd been there selling merch for almost the whole show. dicks. it was a good turnout, but p. ott's is definitely a snug space for a band to play.

THE TANKA RAY SHOW WAS FUCKING RAD. they played a lot of old awesome shit that p.j. had never played before. that band will rule forever and always. there were a lot of cool people i hadn't seen in a long time. it sucks that it takes tanka ray playing to get anyone to come out anymore, but hey- i aint complainin'. they played covers by fear naked raygun and cretin 66. they played most of dirty voices and some stuff for the skinheads off the first record. perry rocked out harder than most of the people in attendance. awesome.

doin' real bad
tryin to get laid
my future's so tight
i gotta wear shades

there ya go, there's my little nugget of wisdom for the day. do with it what you will. not my most inspired blog ever but it's all i got after this long weekend. i hope everyone's doing well.

*slang term meaning 'bro' or 'brah' aka todds or geoffs.

oi oi stupid skinhead

frownies

no skeletonwitch for me. boo.

i gotta work. if i could afford my own gas i'd totally book it down there after i got off but alas...winter is the broke time.
i'll have fun at that yazz party though. maybe eat some rotel, listen some bird, do some coke...whatever.

here's hopin' everyone is splendid, and if you're drinkin'...HAVE A DRINK ON ME!!!"come on, come on neeeeeewwws with scrappy dobbins!"

i will decide

tomorrow night i'm going to do everything within my power to get to joplin, mo and see:

awesome!

no more room in hell

i can't believe there's people who haven't seen this movie. mookie! why the fuck haven't you seen this? i'm pretty sure you just forgot or something because you wrote it and directed it. anyway, we watched it the other night and it is terrifically silly/awesome. jerk, you should also see it if you haven't because you play the little metalhead with glasses who unlocks the secrets to the gate of hell with this 'record album' by norwegian metal band SACRIFYX. steven dorff's first movie! feature's these lines of dialogue!
AL: "what are you two doing in there?"
AL'S FRIEND: "probably fagging off."

practice tonight! then moving to our new practice spot at storagemart. it looks like i'm going to be watching a lot of lost on the internet since i'm the only one in my band who gives a shit about it and we practice every thursday for at least 3 hours. my only troubles at the moment are financial. i guess that's a good thing. that, and i feel like i need to see a lot of people who are very important that don't live here. oh well, that's why i have trips planned!

doctor said i need a backiotamy

my morning has been like an episode of the drew carey show or something equally retarded. i woke up to snow everywhere. i thought i might not have to go into work but alas, the work week waits not for the weak or some skinhead bullshit. so basically, i had to go in. i take 3 highways to work, so in the snow that meant my morning commute was doubled time-wize. so i go really slow and i'm really careful and i make it down into KCK without any problems. i make it into my parking lot, park successfully (i'm absolutely the only person around for like 40 square miles), stop my car, get out and WHOOPSIE DAISY! turns out boots+snow+getting out of a car= me splayed out on my back in the middle of this parking lot doing my best jesus christ pose. if you haven't been keeping up, my back is TERRIBLE. this one muscle in the middle of my back has been giving me so much shit. it's like richard pryor running a marathon and then he gets that pain in his side that's like "hello, i'll be fucking with you for the duration of this marathon, don't try to resist." all pain hurts so much more in the winter. fuck this shit.

raining mud

it's pouring rain in kansas city and will be all day. snow will come tomorrow. it sucks that i'm at work and not voting right now. i can also imagine myself being very happy with a steak at this juncture in my life. a steak would be tangible at this point.

HAD A PRETTY RAD TIME THIS WEEKEND.
friday night: went and saw LEON THE PROFESSIONAL at screenland with a bunch of folks. THAT MOVIE RULES EVERYTIME! afterwords david and suzie had some people over. david demands to listen to megadeth at all times. this is an admirable trait. he named his fucking cat megadeth. that's awesome. nachos, dude.
CHEERS to drinking beer in a movie theater.
JEERS to having to wake up at 8:30AM Saturday.

saturday night: we went to see the architects/outlaw at the architects practice space. it's right next to pancho's. it's the place you always see hipsters running in and out of and you're kinda like "where are those guys going?" but then you really DON'T CARE that much because you're wasted and for some reason that means you're going to pancho's. man, if the police really want to control underage drinking they should just turn pancho's into some kind of drunk trap/deathcamp. "don't you worry, it's only a burrito" i really can't even eat that shit. i tried once, and it didn't work out in the slightest.
afterwords, we partied at chez charlie's and then my house. it was good to see clare, wish it could have been for longer though.
CHEERS to outlaw and architects for both turning in solid preformances/clare for being awesome and in town for like 36 hours.
JEERS to dumb kids who only come to myspace shows.

sunday: ate breakfast at mama's (i still haven't been able to finish even a HALF order of biscuits and gravy from here. i'm not a breakfast eater, really. though, we usually go when i'm hungover and not high so...how do you really expect me to eat anything?), hung out at thraknar's house and then went out to nick's for the SUPERBOWL. terry bradshaw cussed on the air (I'M SURE OF IT), the game was pretty fucking boring until the end, most of the commercials were dumb, but we all had a good time. nick's mom's food was MOST EXCELLENT, and the company was totally non-heinous. jimmy, fran, dracula, flan, lisa, chris, larry, judge, nick, isaac, chas, joy and i all had an awesome time.
CHEERS to the ah-loe's for being very accomidating/the giants for fucking owning the lame-ass patriots.
JEERS to stupid talking babies making me feel weird.

i'm looking forward to chicago and spain and my birthday in the next few months here. the valentine's day present i wanna get joy is $60 bucks. maybe if i work really hard the ol' bosshole will give me a nice fat valentine's day raise!!! fingers crossed!

warzone

being at quiktrip on main at 9:30 in the morning is a lot like fighting the war in iraq. i'm sure of it because i've obviously done both things so wouldn't i know? the only difference at quiktrip is that it's every man for himself. your weapons are corn dogs and hot coffee. your objective is to collect as many nutrition foods as possible- AND TO GET OUT ALIVE. dodge that terrorist disguised as an 8 year old boy! he's flailing that super rope pretty fast, so hurl yonder bear claws with precision and skill. now, advance to the next stage. oh no! hot coffee all over the fucking floor! shit! now they're attacking you with the mop! but they're just mopping everywhere around your feet except where you're standing! it's a torture tactic. a mind game. terror is 99% mental and 100% mental. a famous terrorist said that once. he was insane. with terror. maybe it was this one who is NOW SPRAYING NACHO CHEESE OUT OF HIS MOUTH. quick! use the freezer door as a shield. retaliate! fling some chips!

...and that's how you'll end the war in iraq. nachos. everyone knows terrorists like to party.

i got the van back. turns out i don't need to do much mcguyvering but i do have to be careful when turning it off. it's good to have it back. i decided not to get that kramer guitar and hold out for something else. with a $250 heating bill i can't really afford to rock that hard. bummer. i wish to visit CHICAGO before i go to spain. that would be most excellent. i wanna make fun of mookie, and shred some metal with alex, go bowling with sam and neal, have a fatty smoke sesh with joe and frances, eat some fuckin pizza with lauren, abby and sarah, participate in blunt tuesdays with joe weitteroth, tell zaylor to get the hell out of there, give laura a big hug and tell her she's my number 1 even though she's sort of a b, you know- THE FUN STUFF. so, i think i'm gonna try and do that. right now.

edit: chicago, see you march 14th-18th.